So I've had some time to read. First I read the Year of Living Biblically, a birthday gift from Alen, which was actually interesting and funny. Then I read a great book, the Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell. I love how this guy brings together such disparate stuff. The book definitely raised a lot of questions - I have to check if he continues these kinds of discussions on his website.
Then I read The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron. It was long and Alen's brother (the MBA) said he could not get through it, so I viewed it as something of a challenge. However, I'm not sure what I gained from it in the end, except maybe a better understanding of the California power crisis that I had never paid attention to. I still don't really understand what short selling is and I only have a vaguely better conception of what a hedge fund is.
After starting but deciding I could not get into Born to Kvetch (a history of Yiddish), I picked up The Bitch in the House, 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood and Marriage, edited by Cathi Hanauer. I think the title may have kept it from being a bestseller :-) but I just finished it and liked it a lot. Most of the authors are professional writers and it's missing the voices of any out lesbians. But I really enjoyed it. It also makes me grateful for being a mom in my 40s and not my 30s.
Alen has finished Julie and Julia and I hope to have time for that along with a Bill Bryson book before we return. Here's to vacation!!!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Trinidad
So I'm not really sure I have any capability of understanding any other culture, and on this my 5th trip to Trinidad, I'm pretty sure I understand less than ever what is going on here. So here's just a little of what I'm noticing and not understanding.
Meaning of Place
I live somewhere where people attach probably too much meaning to place - the Holy Land. But I find that being away, I miss it. Even in the US, where I lived previously, there is a sense of being in a special country that's better than anywhere else. Here in Trinidad there's much more a sense of being "someplace in the world" - someplace perhaps unique but not special as Israel and the US see themselves. I find myself looking for meaning and not finding it.
No sidewalks
The roads tend to have drainage ditches along the sides but no sidewalks. Gates, walls and fences of houses (almost all have them) come right up to the road. It makes everything look different than what I'm used to.
No codes - or codes I can't see
Israelis dress in a very coded way. By looking at someone, I can tell if they are secular, Religious Zionist, Haredi, Arab, etc. Not in all cases of course, but in many cases. I've often wondered why people don't try to pass as what they are not, and in fact many do, but many do not. Head covering, for instance, is a clear way people differentiate themselves. Here in Trinidad, I can't find those same codes. One of our hosts last night with whom I discussed this said that you can place people by what they have. He said the culture is materialistic. When I tried to talk cultural legacies with him, he said he understands culture materially.
Lush and Green
Geographically or botanically, Trinidad seems so much the opposite of Israel. It's very, very green. Plants grow very rapidly. Bugs and birds are everywhere. Heat is moist, humid.
Amazing Hanukkah Party
We attended a Hanukkah gathering of the Trinidadian Jewish community last Motzei Shabbat. An amazing mix of descendants of the original Jewish Sephardic communities in the Caribbean (including Recife, Curacao, Trinidad, plus more), descendants of Jewish families who came as refugees from Europe in the 30s, Israeli expats, US expats including someone from the FSU - a former refusenik, one French expat with roots in Eastern Europe, Jews by choice, us. It was truly a gathering of the exiles. Long on history and peoplehood, short on Yiddishkeit. A couple of Chabad rabbis came last summer for a visit. If anyone reading this can visit and teach, I'm sure they would welcome you.
That's what I've got for today - thanks for reading, thanks to the housesitters, happy last day of Hanukkah and Shabbat shalom
Meaning of Place
I live somewhere where people attach probably too much meaning to place - the Holy Land. But I find that being away, I miss it. Even in the US, where I lived previously, there is a sense of being in a special country that's better than anywhere else. Here in Trinidad there's much more a sense of being "someplace in the world" - someplace perhaps unique but not special as Israel and the US see themselves. I find myself looking for meaning and not finding it.
No sidewalks
The roads tend to have drainage ditches along the sides but no sidewalks. Gates, walls and fences of houses (almost all have them) come right up to the road. It makes everything look different than what I'm used to.
No codes - or codes I can't see
Israelis dress in a very coded way. By looking at someone, I can tell if they are secular, Religious Zionist, Haredi, Arab, etc. Not in all cases of course, but in many cases. I've often wondered why people don't try to pass as what they are not, and in fact many do, but many do not. Head covering, for instance, is a clear way people differentiate themselves. Here in Trinidad, I can't find those same codes. One of our hosts last night with whom I discussed this said that you can place people by what they have. He said the culture is materialistic. When I tried to talk cultural legacies with him, he said he understands culture materially.
Lush and Green
Geographically or botanically, Trinidad seems so much the opposite of Israel. It's very, very green. Plants grow very rapidly. Bugs and birds are everywhere. Heat is moist, humid.
Amazing Hanukkah Party
We attended a Hanukkah gathering of the Trinidadian Jewish community last Motzei Shabbat. An amazing mix of descendants of the original Jewish Sephardic communities in the Caribbean (including Recife, Curacao, Trinidad, plus more), descendants of Jewish families who came as refugees from Europe in the 30s, Israeli expats, US expats including someone from the FSU - a former refusenik, one French expat with roots in Eastern Europe, Jews by choice, us. It was truly a gathering of the exiles. Long on history and peoplehood, short on Yiddishkeit. A couple of Chabad rabbis came last summer for a visit. If anyone reading this can visit and teach, I'm sure they would welcome you.
That's what I've got for today - thanks for reading, thanks to the housesitters, happy last day of Hanukkah and Shabbat shalom
Friday, December 11, 2009
No place like home?
It's great to be in Trinidad - so far less than 24 hours here and really enjoying Kayleigh and Lucas and watching them play with our wonderful kids. The cousins are getting on famously so far bli ayin hara.
The trip was everything you can imagine a 32 hour trip with a 6 and 3 year old would be. The kids were troupers, but it was very tough on them being so tired - we left Israel at 1 am.
Some highlights: the intensive security check on through passengers from Israel in Paris eventually brought us to a Trinidadian American Airlines clerk who whisked us ahead onto the plane after our 45 minute interrogation and wait - it seems all Israelis got the treatment though they were also harassing a couple with adopted kids from Denmark - seems to me the Americans could get a little better at figuring out who might be a danger.
The playmobile magnetic airport toy we bought for the kids in Orly Airport triggered a handsearch of our hand luggage in Miami - the staff insisting we had an electronic device but not even cracking a smile when they discovered what it really was.
Gabi commented in Miami airport that we were now probably the only Hebrew speakers around, about two minutes before we found ourselves eavesdropping on the sabras at the next table :-) My assertion to the children, "this is America, the rule is children have to stay right next to their mothers" provoked smiles from a fellow traveler to Trinidad.
Highly enjoyable was the very straight looking executive type guy on the Paris-Miami flight who kindly came over to ask me to "keep my son's voice down" - I looked at him baffled for some seconds as he repeated the request before responding, "I'm doing the best I can but he controls his own voice"! (Thought that would be obvious.)
The plane was full of about 35 Nepalese refugees being flown to and resettled in Dallas Texas. If anyone knows anything about this - speak up! They had flown from Nepal to Bangladesh to Paris to Miami and were going on to Dallas. I wish them the best.
Sasha thinks he's in a toystore at his cousins' house - he's trying to play with each toy at least once. Tomorrow we have an afternoon party with Santa followed by a Hanukkah party across town with Trinidad's small Jewish group. I thought it suitable to warn Gabi that she might be encouraged to sit on Santa's lap and that it would be her choice but not to expect him to bring her gifts since we are not Christian. Tried to answer her questions with assertions about the importance of giving, but she wanted to know the bottom line - do we believe in Santa. I checked with Alen, who says we do not, but we forbade Gabi to dispel anyone else's belief. We'll see.
Nothing like a little culture shock to make me realize how Israeli I've become - only Israeli songs came to mind to sing as I was trying to comfort crying, exhausted Gabi whose ears hurt when we were landing.
And then the excitement of seeing Vlad, Johnny and Edward who all arrived to meet us. Now a blessed, loud hot rain is falling - this place feels to be the ecological opposite of the land we've left.
Happy Chanukah Everyone!
The trip was everything you can imagine a 32 hour trip with a 6 and 3 year old would be. The kids were troupers, but it was very tough on them being so tired - we left Israel at 1 am.
Some highlights: the intensive security check on through passengers from Israel in Paris eventually brought us to a Trinidadian American Airlines clerk who whisked us ahead onto the plane after our 45 minute interrogation and wait - it seems all Israelis got the treatment though they were also harassing a couple with adopted kids from Denmark - seems to me the Americans could get a little better at figuring out who might be a danger.
The playmobile magnetic airport toy we bought for the kids in Orly Airport triggered a handsearch of our hand luggage in Miami - the staff insisting we had an electronic device but not even cracking a smile when they discovered what it really was.
Gabi commented in Miami airport that we were now probably the only Hebrew speakers around, about two minutes before we found ourselves eavesdropping on the sabras at the next table :-) My assertion to the children, "this is America, the rule is children have to stay right next to their mothers" provoked smiles from a fellow traveler to Trinidad.
Highly enjoyable was the very straight looking executive type guy on the Paris-Miami flight who kindly came over to ask me to "keep my son's voice down" - I looked at him baffled for some seconds as he repeated the request before responding, "I'm doing the best I can but he controls his own voice"! (Thought that would be obvious.)
The plane was full of about 35 Nepalese refugees being flown to and resettled in Dallas Texas. If anyone knows anything about this - speak up! They had flown from Nepal to Bangladesh to Paris to Miami and were going on to Dallas. I wish them the best.
Sasha thinks he's in a toystore at his cousins' house - he's trying to play with each toy at least once. Tomorrow we have an afternoon party with Santa followed by a Hanukkah party across town with Trinidad's small Jewish group. I thought it suitable to warn Gabi that she might be encouraged to sit on Santa's lap and that it would be her choice but not to expect him to bring her gifts since we are not Christian. Tried to answer her questions with assertions about the importance of giving, but she wanted to know the bottom line - do we believe in Santa. I checked with Alen, who says we do not, but we forbade Gabi to dispel anyone else's belief. We'll see.
Nothing like a little culture shock to make me realize how Israeli I've become - only Israeli songs came to mind to sing as I was trying to comfort crying, exhausted Gabi whose ears hurt when we were landing.
And then the excitement of seeing Vlad, Johnny and Edward who all arrived to meet us. Now a blessed, loud hot rain is falling - this place feels to be the ecological opposite of the land we've left.
Happy Chanukah Everyone!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Banana Bread
I realized today not everyone has the privilege of being born into a family with a prize winning banana bread recipe. This is my adaptation of Mom's recipe that won a prize I still have 30 years later - a teak rolling pin!
The trick to this bread is slow baking at 300 F or 150 C.
Grease and flour a loaf pan.
3 mashed ripe bananas
1 scant cup sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup oil
mix
sift in 1 1/2 cups flour (white or half whole wheat and half white)
1 tsp baking soda
bake at 300 for one hour or until a fork comes out clean. You can mess with it (nuts, chocolate chips, raisins) but you can't make it better.
The trick to this bread is slow baking at 300 F or 150 C.
Grease and flour a loaf pan.
3 mashed ripe bananas
1 scant cup sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup oil
mix
sift in 1 1/2 cups flour (white or half whole wheat and half white)
1 tsp baking soda
bake at 300 for one hour or until a fork comes out clean. You can mess with it (nuts, chocolate chips, raisins) but you can't make it better.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The Cup
I was asked to write something for my professional organization newsletter (it still comes out in paper!). The topic was how Torah stories intersect with our lives - they always have a piece from Israeli colleagues - and the specific Torah story we were asked to write about is the upcoming parshiyot about Joseph. I am posting it earlier than it will appear in print because of our upcoming trip. The piece I wrote seems especially relevant today - we spent the afternoon at the Thanksgiving celebration of neighbors - many anglos there though including Canadians, British and Australians. The food was terrific but Thanksgiving is really the only US holiday I miss and I've suffered from some homesickness as you read in my last post.
I began and ended the day singing the sentimental song Halley's Comet by Mary Chapin Carpenter to Gabi and Sasha - lots of tears in the morning but managed not to cry in the evening - Gabi said "you're almost crying" after I promised not to! I will mention the kids and I also did a great hike to and from the horse farm today today with some high risk bimba riding (with helmets of course). As a result Sasha was asleep at 7:30 pm with Gabi not far behind!
Here's my piece about Joseph:
The Cup
I want to use this space to explore what it means when members of our families and close friendship circles are far from us. The Joseph Story is of course the first extended treatment of life outside the land of Israel that we find in the book of Genesis. For a period of his life, the years in which he grew up and matured, Joseph lived far from his family. He seems to have brought with him to Egypt values and natural talents, but he exercises them without the benefit of parents or siblings, not to mention without the internet or facebook. Or we might say he is able to exercise his talents precisely because he is far from his father and siblings.
I know something about being an immigrant – I come by it honestly. My mother left her native England and moved to the US when she married my father at the (then late) age of 29. In some ways, she was a Joseph. She dreamed of going to the US and getting away from the small, closed London Jewish community and the multitude of aunts, uncles and cousins that surrounded her.
My mother-in-law, may her memory be a blessing, lived a similar story. She dreamed since high school of traveling around the world. She met her Trinidadian husband at university in England and eventually traveled to make her home halfway across the globe in Trinidad. In her last years, she traveled around the world for work, and she died while working in Africa. Both these strong women have been models to me as I try to make sense of living away from "home".
In the Joseph story, the cost to Joseph of his distance from his family is apparent. The distance is one of estrangement and his desire to reconnect with his brothers when they appear is palpable. In thinking of the story, my mind is drawn to the cup that Joseph sends back hidden with his brothers. To me, the cup symbolizes that part of Joseph that can never be reconciled with Egypt – the part of him that wants to run back with his brothers to reach his father. It reminds me of the special smile that I only see on my partner's face when she's laughing with her brothers in Trinidad – so like the special laughter my mother shares only with relatives in England. The cup is that piece that doesn't fit in – the feeling I sometimes have when I'm trying and failing to make connections with native Israelis – the feeling that I am always on unfamiliar turf.
At the end of the Joseph story, though, Joseph does not return to Canaan with the cup. Instead, he is the instrument of bringing his father and brothers out of the land of Canaan. Unlike Joseph, neither my mother nor my mother-in-law tried or succeeded to bring their parents or siblings from England. Rather, both experienced the same costs Alen and I feel today, raising our children far from their grandparents, aunts and uncles. As our remaining parents age I feel more acutely the distance. I also feel the pain of distance from friends and colleagues as they face illness and other challenges.
Joseph becomes whole when his brothers and father arrive in Egypt. I don't feel that wholeness is available to me, so I find ways to live each day with a missing piece. And when friends and family come to visit, I send them home with a cup.
I began and ended the day singing the sentimental song Halley's Comet by Mary Chapin Carpenter to Gabi and Sasha - lots of tears in the morning but managed not to cry in the evening - Gabi said "you're almost crying" after I promised not to! I will mention the kids and I also did a great hike to and from the horse farm today today with some high risk bimba riding (with helmets of course). As a result Sasha was asleep at 7:30 pm with Gabi not far behind!
Here's my piece about Joseph:
The Cup
I want to use this space to explore what it means when members of our families and close friendship circles are far from us. The Joseph Story is of course the first extended treatment of life outside the land of Israel that we find in the book of Genesis. For a period of his life, the years in which he grew up and matured, Joseph lived far from his family. He seems to have brought with him to Egypt values and natural talents, but he exercises them without the benefit of parents or siblings, not to mention without the internet or facebook. Or we might say he is able to exercise his talents precisely because he is far from his father and siblings.
I know something about being an immigrant – I come by it honestly. My mother left her native England and moved to the US when she married my father at the (then late) age of 29. In some ways, she was a Joseph. She dreamed of going to the US and getting away from the small, closed London Jewish community and the multitude of aunts, uncles and cousins that surrounded her.
My mother-in-law, may her memory be a blessing, lived a similar story. She dreamed since high school of traveling around the world. She met her Trinidadian husband at university in England and eventually traveled to make her home halfway across the globe in Trinidad. In her last years, she traveled around the world for work, and she died while working in Africa. Both these strong women have been models to me as I try to make sense of living away from "home".
In the Joseph story, the cost to Joseph of his distance from his family is apparent. The distance is one of estrangement and his desire to reconnect with his brothers when they appear is palpable. In thinking of the story, my mind is drawn to the cup that Joseph sends back hidden with his brothers. To me, the cup symbolizes that part of Joseph that can never be reconciled with Egypt – the part of him that wants to run back with his brothers to reach his father. It reminds me of the special smile that I only see on my partner's face when she's laughing with her brothers in Trinidad – so like the special laughter my mother shares only with relatives in England. The cup is that piece that doesn't fit in – the feeling I sometimes have when I'm trying and failing to make connections with native Israelis – the feeling that I am always on unfamiliar turf.
At the end of the Joseph story, though, Joseph does not return to Canaan with the cup. Instead, he is the instrument of bringing his father and brothers out of the land of Canaan. Unlike Joseph, neither my mother nor my mother-in-law tried or succeeded to bring their parents or siblings from England. Rather, both experienced the same costs Alen and I feel today, raising our children far from their grandparents, aunts and uncles. As our remaining parents age I feel more acutely the distance. I also feel the pain of distance from friends and colleagues as they face illness and other challenges.
Joseph becomes whole when his brothers and father arrive in Egypt. I don't feel that wholeness is available to me, so I find ways to live each day with a missing piece. And when friends and family come to visit, I send them home with a cup.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to all our US friends and family.
In honor, I roasted pumpkin last night for a pumpkin pie and there was extra. One thing we have a lot of in Israel is pumpkin. I found this recipe for pumpkin oatmeal muffins in a recipe book with Nancy VDP's handwriting - gave my heart a pang of missing home and childhood. Adapted it with an idea from Irish Oatmeal muffins in Fannie Farmer and got up and made them and put in the oven by 6:30 am!!!
Sasha is playing with the story cubes Grandma gave him - they are people (Mommy, Ima, Grandma, Grandpa, Gabi & Sasha) riding in cars and airplanes! And here's the recipe-
The night before put one cup of oatmeal in one cup of milk (or other liquid) and put in fridge. Roast or buy 3/4 cup pumpkin mash. In the morning, preheat oven to 400 and grease about 12-18 muffin cups. Sift together 1 & 1/2 cups flour, 1 tablespoon baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp cinnamon. In another bowl, mix 2 eggs, the pumpkin, 2 tablespoons oil, 1/4-1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup apple juice. Mix together the dry, the wet and the oats that were soaking up the liquid - just till everything is mixed. Put in the muffin cups and bake 20-25 minutes until a knife comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes in pans.
I'm off to taste them. And I'm thankful for Nancy and for all my friends and family, for being able to love across miles and close by. Love and hugs from me and Sasha!
In honor, I roasted pumpkin last night for a pumpkin pie and there was extra. One thing we have a lot of in Israel is pumpkin. I found this recipe for pumpkin oatmeal muffins in a recipe book with Nancy VDP's handwriting - gave my heart a pang of missing home and childhood. Adapted it with an idea from Irish Oatmeal muffins in Fannie Farmer and got up and made them and put in the oven by 6:30 am!!!
Sasha is playing with the story cubes Grandma gave him - they are people (Mommy, Ima, Grandma, Grandpa, Gabi & Sasha) riding in cars and airplanes! And here's the recipe-
The night before put one cup of oatmeal in one cup of milk (or other liquid) and put in fridge. Roast or buy 3/4 cup pumpkin mash. In the morning, preheat oven to 400 and grease about 12-18 muffin cups. Sift together 1 & 1/2 cups flour, 1 tablespoon baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp cinnamon. In another bowl, mix 2 eggs, the pumpkin, 2 tablespoons oil, 1/4-1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup apple juice. Mix together the dry, the wet and the oats that were soaking up the liquid - just till everything is mixed. Put in the muffin cups and bake 20-25 minutes until a knife comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes in pans.
I'm off to taste them. And I'm thankful for Nancy and for all my friends and family, for being able to love across miles and close by. Love and hugs from me and Sasha!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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