I made this parve lime dessert Key Lime Bars with a Gingersnap Crust from a recipe I got on a blog called Couldn't be Parve. http://www.couldntbeparve.com/ You could cut the sugar. I doubled the recipe and used petit beurre parve cookies for the crust. The recipe is a surprise because the crust rises to the top - I did not know that would happen! I used greaseproof paper instead of foil. Come over soon if you want some - they'll be gone quickly!
Makes 12-16 bars depending on the size
For crust
1 cup gingersnap or graham cracker crumbs (gluten-free gingersnap crumbs worked well to make a gluten-free bar)
1/4 cup sugar
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) margarine.
For filling
3 large eggs
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cup key lime juice (fresh or from frozen concentrate, bottled is not as tasty in this recipe)
Zest of 2 limes
Confectioner’s sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 350 F degrees. Line an 8X8 inch baking pan with foil so that the foil hangs over the sides of the pan, and spray the foil with nonstick baking spray.
If starting with whole gingersnaps process them in the food processor until finely ground. Place the margarine in a medium bowl and microwave until melted. Add sugar and crumbs and stir until well combined. Press crumb mixture evenly into the bottom of pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until lightly golden. Let the crust cool while making the filling.
Place the eggs in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and whisk the eggs on medium-high speed until they thicken, about 2 minutes. Slowly add the sugar while continuing to whip on medium-high, until the mixture is very thick and pale colored, about 5 minutes.
Combine the cornstarch and baking powder and stir together to blend well. Add to the egg mixture and blend together on medium speed, scraping down the sides of the bowl if necessary. Add the lime juice and zest and mix well. Pour the filling over the the crust and bake for 30-35 minutes, until the top is set and light golden and a tester inserted into the center comes out clean or slightly damp. Cool completely on a wire rack.
Lift the cooled bars from the pan using the foil and place on a cutting board. Peel the foil away from the sides and cut into 2-inch squares. Dust with confectioner’s sugar and serve.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Gilad is home
It's so hard to put into words the overwhelming feelings I have had today. I woke up at 5:30 am, not thinking anything special, but unable to sleep. At 7 am Alen called from on her way to work to say that Gilad Shalit would be released this morning. I told the kids they could not watch any cartoons and put on the tv news, something we rarely watch here. Sasha said that all the soldiers had come home but Gilad Shalit did not come home.
We watched the build up on tv for awhile and then I dropped the kids at day care and got in the car to work. On my way to work I was listening to the radio news and several text messages came in from security updates I got. Then I sat at work with one eye on Haaretz.
I talked to my boss about how one of the people being released today is the woman who blew up the Sbarro restaurant in August 2001, right after Alen and I moved to Jerusalem. His friend's daughter, Malki Roth, was killed in that bombing, and her parents started Keren Malki in her memory to help families of children with disabilities.
I read online about the other woman who everyone was talking about today - the one who lured a 16 year old boy from Ashkelon over facebook and got him to Ramallah where he was shot. I remember when that happened.
I went to the bank. The person who served me is someone who has worked there since I lived here. He said no one's mind is on work today. I started talking about the Sbarro bombing and the bombing at Moment cafe that happened in March, 2002. I was a block away when it happened, though I did not tell him that. He told me about a customer who was right in the cafe and was miraculously unharmed. We agreed that we should hear only good news.
I came home and watched Gilad return to Mitzpe Hilah. We postponed dinner to watch Noam Shalit talk to the press at 6 pm. In our Sukkah at dinner Gabi said, "I don't understand why 1,000 Palestinian prisoners are exchanged for one person. It's a damn iska (agreement)."
We talked about how Sasha was less than 2 months old when Gilad Shalit was kidnapped. I tried to imagine what 5 years has meant - to him, to his parents. That's Sasha's whole life, all his growing, all his years.
I once heard Elan Ezrachi talk about how Israel is considered a "high context society" - where what happens to the nation affects each person. I have never felt it more strongly than today. The kids' day care provider was telling me how she had the kids watch the news and how people would be asking, "do you remember where you were when Gilad Shalit was released?" I was too overwhelmed to think of what to say. Then she asked me (maybe a little suspiciously), "were you watching this today"? And I reassured her, yes, yes, the tv, the radio, the internet, yes, I've been glued to it.
And all day I'm wondering - what does it mean to be a parent, to be a child, to be a citizen of this place. I so often wonder what I am doing here. And I have thought of something I heard on the radio - how one of the Hamas leaders, I think it was Haniyeh, told a reporter how he admires the Israeli spirit and commitment, how the Israeli people cared so much about one person.
And I thought of the poem, "Each of us has a name", and of how what has gone on with Gilad Shalit has expressed the notion that he who saves one life is as if he saved the entire world.
And I've felt sad because with all the joy of Gilad's release there's still the overwhelming sadness of the situation we are living in and the sense of intractability. And the fear - that the release of people who have taken innocent lives will lead to more terror attacks, that any one of us could become G-d forbid Noam or Aviva Shalit and any one of our children could be Gilad Shalit. And amazement at the nobility and persistence of the Shalit family, how they have stood their ground and fought for this day, and incredible joy that it is finally here.
We watched the build up on tv for awhile and then I dropped the kids at day care and got in the car to work. On my way to work I was listening to the radio news and several text messages came in from security updates I got. Then I sat at work with one eye on Haaretz.
I talked to my boss about how one of the people being released today is the woman who blew up the Sbarro restaurant in August 2001, right after Alen and I moved to Jerusalem. His friend's daughter, Malki Roth, was killed in that bombing, and her parents started Keren Malki in her memory to help families of children with disabilities.
I read online about the other woman who everyone was talking about today - the one who lured a 16 year old boy from Ashkelon over facebook and got him to Ramallah where he was shot. I remember when that happened.
I went to the bank. The person who served me is someone who has worked there since I lived here. He said no one's mind is on work today. I started talking about the Sbarro bombing and the bombing at Moment cafe that happened in March, 2002. I was a block away when it happened, though I did not tell him that. He told me about a customer who was right in the cafe and was miraculously unharmed. We agreed that we should hear only good news.
I came home and watched Gilad return to Mitzpe Hilah. We postponed dinner to watch Noam Shalit talk to the press at 6 pm. In our Sukkah at dinner Gabi said, "I don't understand why 1,000 Palestinian prisoners are exchanged for one person. It's a damn iska (agreement)."
We talked about how Sasha was less than 2 months old when Gilad Shalit was kidnapped. I tried to imagine what 5 years has meant - to him, to his parents. That's Sasha's whole life, all his growing, all his years.
I once heard Elan Ezrachi talk about how Israel is considered a "high context society" - where what happens to the nation affects each person. I have never felt it more strongly than today. The kids' day care provider was telling me how she had the kids watch the news and how people would be asking, "do you remember where you were when Gilad Shalit was released?" I was too overwhelmed to think of what to say. Then she asked me (maybe a little suspiciously), "were you watching this today"? And I reassured her, yes, yes, the tv, the radio, the internet, yes, I've been glued to it.
And all day I'm wondering - what does it mean to be a parent, to be a child, to be a citizen of this place. I so often wonder what I am doing here. And I have thought of something I heard on the radio - how one of the Hamas leaders, I think it was Haniyeh, told a reporter how he admires the Israeli spirit and commitment, how the Israeli people cared so much about one person.
And I thought of the poem, "Each of us has a name", and of how what has gone on with Gilad Shalit has expressed the notion that he who saves one life is as if he saved the entire world.
And I've felt sad because with all the joy of Gilad's release there's still the overwhelming sadness of the situation we are living in and the sense of intractability. And the fear - that the release of people who have taken innocent lives will lead to more terror attacks, that any one of us could become G-d forbid Noam or Aviva Shalit and any one of our children could be Gilad Shalit. And amazement at the nobility and persistence of the Shalit family, how they have stood their ground and fought for this day, and incredible joy that it is finally here.
Monday, September 12, 2011
It'll be a New Year
I had one of those innocuous conversations today. With someone I really like, someone I was happy to be talking to, someone I had not seen in awhile.
She asked how I am, how the family is, in a way that indicated she cared and wanted to hear. So I said it's been a hard time, the past 6 months since Lucas died, that we saw his family, that it was hard.
And she said, "it'll be a New Year". Meaning well, it's a nice thing to say.
I didn't say a lot of what's on my mind - how I don't want to go to Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur services, how in the New Year Lucas will still be dead, how the world will still be a place where a 4 year old boy can suddenly leave, where a family can be left with grief.
Yesterday, September 11, I did not think much about Lucas. I thought about all the people who died that day 10 years ago.
But today, September 12, I'm back to where I was. Not looking forward to a New Year, not knowing what it means to make a fresh start when a piece is, and will always be, missing.
And knowing that this is what people my age, which is not that old, and some younger, do all the time. That figuring out how to live with loss is basically figuring out how to live. I don't have it figured out yet.
Many years ago someone told me a year is important because after a year, you've gone through all the seasons. I have no doubt next high holidays will be easier. For now I'm dreading the thought of trying to be present as we read, "who shall live and who shall die". Alen's been listening to a Leonard Cohen version of it in the car - I don't know how. I changed the disc when it came on.
She asked how I am, how the family is, in a way that indicated she cared and wanted to hear. So I said it's been a hard time, the past 6 months since Lucas died, that we saw his family, that it was hard.
And she said, "it'll be a New Year". Meaning well, it's a nice thing to say.
I didn't say a lot of what's on my mind - how I don't want to go to Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur services, how in the New Year Lucas will still be dead, how the world will still be a place where a 4 year old boy can suddenly leave, where a family can be left with grief.
Yesterday, September 11, I did not think much about Lucas. I thought about all the people who died that day 10 years ago.
But today, September 12, I'm back to where I was. Not looking forward to a New Year, not knowing what it means to make a fresh start when a piece is, and will always be, missing.
And knowing that this is what people my age, which is not that old, and some younger, do all the time. That figuring out how to live with loss is basically figuring out how to live. I don't have it figured out yet.
Many years ago someone told me a year is important because after a year, you've gone through all the seasons. I have no doubt next high holidays will be easier. For now I'm dreading the thought of trying to be present as we read, "who shall live and who shall die". Alen's been listening to a Leonard Cohen version of it in the car - I don't know how. I changed the disc when it came on.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Painful Driving Questions
Tomorrow is six months since Lucas died. Last night, I looked at 192 photos of him that his aunt Lisa has on her facebook. The whole time feeling how I still can't comprehend this.
On the way home from work today, Sasha was with me thanks to strep throat. A coworker and friend was in the car with us. Sasha started talking about places he wants to go for his birthday and mentioned that Alen said we could go to Trinidad. I wonder if she did.
So I asked him why he wants to go to Trinidad and he said he wants to see Lucas's toys, and that he wants to see Lucas. So I said you know if we go there, we won't see Lucas, he's dead. Then Sasha started asking about if he was buried. Then he asked if he was in one of those things Dracula goes in (because we have a book with a picture of a vampire in a coffin, and it's the only picture of a coffin Sasha has ever seen). So I tried to explain what cremation is, in Hebrew, and that when someone is cremated there are ashes, but Sasha didn't really know what ashes are. Then Sasha said it was too bad because he wanted to see Lucas, and I explained that we can't see people who are dead and that Lucas's body isn't here anymore and we can't see his spirit.
My friend didn't say anything.
Later in the ride I told Sasha I wanted to tell him something about my friend's father (that he produces musicals) and Sasha said, "what, is he dead?"
Then we talked about being grandparents, and people dying when they are grandparents or great grandparents.
The way it is supposed to be.
And I have a whole new pile of students, wonderful students, who don't know, who didn't hear, and still friends who for one reason or another we have not told, and time goes on. And I still feel that I have no idea what I believe anymore, that the G-d I believed in before this happened was more like Santa Claus, that I have no idea who the G-d is that I believe in anymore, and that the abyss remains very close. That am dreading the long prayers of the high holidays and the unetaneh tokef. And that my heart is with our family in Trinidad.
On the way home from work today, Sasha was with me thanks to strep throat. A coworker and friend was in the car with us. Sasha started talking about places he wants to go for his birthday and mentioned that Alen said we could go to Trinidad. I wonder if she did.
So I asked him why he wants to go to Trinidad and he said he wants to see Lucas's toys, and that he wants to see Lucas. So I said you know if we go there, we won't see Lucas, he's dead. Then Sasha started asking about if he was buried. Then he asked if he was in one of those things Dracula goes in (because we have a book with a picture of a vampire in a coffin, and it's the only picture of a coffin Sasha has ever seen). So I tried to explain what cremation is, in Hebrew, and that when someone is cremated there are ashes, but Sasha didn't really know what ashes are. Then Sasha said it was too bad because he wanted to see Lucas, and I explained that we can't see people who are dead and that Lucas's body isn't here anymore and we can't see his spirit.
My friend didn't say anything.
Later in the ride I told Sasha I wanted to tell him something about my friend's father (that he produces musicals) and Sasha said, "what, is he dead?"
Then we talked about being grandparents, and people dying when they are grandparents or great grandparents.
The way it is supposed to be.
And I have a whole new pile of students, wonderful students, who don't know, who didn't hear, and still friends who for one reason or another we have not told, and time goes on. And I still feel that I have no idea what I believe anymore, that the G-d I believed in before this happened was more like Santa Claus, that I have no idea who the G-d is that I believe in anymore, and that the abyss remains very close. That am dreading the long prayers of the high holidays and the unetaneh tokef. And that my heart is with our family in Trinidad.
Monday, July 18, 2011
The 17th of Tammuz - Repairing the Breach
I've made some progress looking for Uncle Jack. It's not very pretty and somewhat chilling.
I was never able to learn Uncle Jack's real story. Grandma said he "fell in with a bad lot." I think my father told me Jack's father wanted nothing to do with him but that Aunt Lil kept in touch with him in the 1930s.
Uncle Jack was arrested in Boston when he was young. Drove a car in a robbery, which he claimed he was not connected with.
In 1930, he was living with a wife and stepson in NY.
I found the stepson who died in 2005. His widow spoke to someone who is helping me, and said that he grew up in an orphanage and then on the streets before he joined the Navy.
This stepson had a son, who is not mentioned in his obituary.
That's three generations - father estranged from son, stepfather estranged from stepson, father estranged from son.
In a letter to the stepson's widow I wrote:
I think that, if my great-grandfather Mandel had everything to live over, he would have tried to find a way to reconcile with his son, and that in some way I am carrying the desire to make some healing of this breach.
Today, the 17th of Tammuz commemorates the day the Romans breached the walls of Jerusalem. Only today I realized that when we gave Sasha the middle name Yakov, we were also naming him after Uncle Jack (Jacob) Pezrow/Pesarevsky.
I was never able to learn Uncle Jack's real story. Grandma said he "fell in with a bad lot." I think my father told me Jack's father wanted nothing to do with him but that Aunt Lil kept in touch with him in the 1930s.
Uncle Jack was arrested in Boston when he was young. Drove a car in a robbery, which he claimed he was not connected with.
In 1930, he was living with a wife and stepson in NY.
I found the stepson who died in 2005. His widow spoke to someone who is helping me, and said that he grew up in an orphanage and then on the streets before he joined the Navy.
This stepson had a son, who is not mentioned in his obituary.
That's three generations - father estranged from son, stepfather estranged from stepson, father estranged from son.
In a letter to the stepson's widow I wrote:
I think that, if my great-grandfather Mandel had everything to live over, he would have tried to find a way to reconcile with his son, and that in some way I am carrying the desire to make some healing of this breach.
Today, the 17th of Tammuz commemorates the day the Romans breached the walls of Jerusalem. Only today I realized that when we gave Sasha the middle name Yakov, we were also naming him after Uncle Jack (Jacob) Pezrow/Pesarevsky.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Jackson Browne - the best!
I got up this morning and was thinking of this Jackson Browne song. Thank G-d for Google - otherwise I would have had to remember the words myself!
It's a little maudlin, but if you know the music, you might like it. And this youtube is awesome!
Your Bright Baby Blues by Jackson Browne
I'm sittin' down by the highway
Down by that highway side
Everybody's goin' somewhere
Ridin' just as fast as they could ride
I guess they got a lot to do
Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified
Pray to God for me, babe, he can let me slide
Well, I've been up and down this highway
Far as my eyes can see
No matter how fast I run
I can never seem to get away from me
No matter where I am
I can't help thinkin', I'm just a day away
Where I wanna be
Now I'm runnin' home, baby
Like a river to the sea
Baby, if you could see me
Out across this wilderness
There's just one thing
I was hopin' you might guess
Baby, you can free me
All in the power of your sweet tenderness
Yeah, yeah
I can see it in your eyes
You've got those bright baby blues
You don't see what you've got to gain
But you don't like to lose
You watch yourself from the sidelines
Like your life is a game
You don't mind playin', to keep yourself amused
I don't mean to be cruel, babe
But you're lookin', confused
Baby if you can hear me
Turn down your radio
There's just one thing
I want you to know
When you've been near me
I've felt the love
Stirrin' in my soul, yeah, yeah, yes I have
It's so hard to come by
That feeling of peace
This friend of mine said
"Close your eyes
And try a few of these"
I thought I flyin' like a bird
So far above my sorrow
But when I looked down
I was standin' on my knees
Now I need
Someone to help me
Someone to help me, please
Baby, if you need me
Like I know I need you
There's just one thing
I'll ask you to do
Take my hand and lead me
To the hole in your garden wall
And pull me through, pull me through
It's a little maudlin, but if you know the music, you might like it. And this youtube is awesome!
Your Bright Baby Blues by Jackson Browne
I'm sittin' down by the highway
Down by that highway side
Everybody's goin' somewhere
Ridin' just as fast as they could ride
I guess they got a lot to do
Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified
Pray to God for me, babe, he can let me slide
Well, I've been up and down this highway
Far as my eyes can see
No matter how fast I run
I can never seem to get away from me
No matter where I am
I can't help thinkin', I'm just a day away
Where I wanna be
Now I'm runnin' home, baby
Like a river to the sea
Baby, if you could see me
Out across this wilderness
There's just one thing
I was hopin' you might guess
Baby, you can free me
All in the power of your sweet tenderness
Yeah, yeah
I can see it in your eyes
You've got those bright baby blues
You don't see what you've got to gain
But you don't like to lose
You watch yourself from the sidelines
Like your life is a game
You don't mind playin', to keep yourself amused
I don't mean to be cruel, babe
But you're lookin', confused
Baby if you can hear me
Turn down your radio
There's just one thing
I want you to know
When you've been near me
I've felt the love
Stirrin' in my soul, yeah, yeah, yes I have
It's so hard to come by
That feeling of peace
This friend of mine said
"Close your eyes
And try a few of these"
I thought I flyin' like a bird
So far above my sorrow
But when I looked down
I was standin' on my knees
Now I need
Someone to help me
Someone to help me, please
Baby, if you need me
Like I know I need you
There's just one thing
I'll ask you to do
Take my hand and lead me
To the hole in your garden wall
And pull me through, pull me through
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Fruit upside down cake
So I think the thing to do with too soft or too sour fruit like plums these days is to make an upside down cake. I've been experimenting with this.
I've been using a glass pie dish, which is probably a mistake. I think it covers too much area, so the cake is not deep enough. OTOH, it's a nice shape. Maybe an 8" round cake pan would be better.
Cover the bottom with whatever fruit you want. If the fruit is sour, sprinkle it with sugar and also cinnamon if you want.
Make the cake - today I used
1 and 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
sift together
mix separately
2 eggs
1/2 cup melted butter or oil
1/2 cup milk (use juice if you want)
Add wet to dry and mix. Spread on the fruit. Cook at 400 for 25 minutes until cake is done.
Alen said this was not as good as last time, when I made it with butter. This week I used oil. But I think last week I used a different cake batter like this:
3 eggs
1/2 cup melted butter or oil
no milk
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
And baked at 350 for more time - about 40-45 minutes.
If you try either way, let me know how it turns out.
I've been using a glass pie dish, which is probably a mistake. I think it covers too much area, so the cake is not deep enough. OTOH, it's a nice shape. Maybe an 8" round cake pan would be better.
Cover the bottom with whatever fruit you want. If the fruit is sour, sprinkle it with sugar and also cinnamon if you want.
Make the cake - today I used
1 and 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
sift together
mix separately
2 eggs
1/2 cup melted butter or oil
1/2 cup milk (use juice if you want)
Add wet to dry and mix. Spread on the fruit. Cook at 400 for 25 minutes until cake is done.
Alen said this was not as good as last time, when I made it with butter. This week I used oil. But I think last week I used a different cake batter like this:
3 eggs
1/2 cup melted butter or oil
no milk
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
And baked at 350 for more time - about 40-45 minutes.
If you try either way, let me know how it turns out.
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