What is the Torah we will receive this year?

I've been feeling like my head is going to explode. 

Last night before I went to sleep, I could see Africa, Africans all around.  I am distressed beyond belief at the recent anti-refugee, anti-immigrant violence in Tel Aviv.  At the same time, this is the first year we've had a number of applicants from Africa who want to come learn at my work.  So I've had pause to think about the continent and how close it is, to talk to staff at the Israeli consulate in Nigeria, to come closer to knowing Africans personally.  When I saw Africa last night I felt that my mother in law z"l, who died in Malawi in 2003, was close to us.  I woke up at night scared.

This week when the police harassed women rabbinical students I know for wearing their tallitot at the Kotel, I thought, "yes, a government that will treat its citizens the way it does will treat anyone that way when they choose."  And non-citizens?  Our government helps them not at all.  Don't they remember "we were strangers"???

Through the fall and winter, watching everything about women in Israel going on around me, I felt for the first time a feeling of not wanting to be here.  Yesterday I sat with four North American young Jewish women here on a social justice fellowship.  We deconstructed much of what is going on around us regarding gender.  I tried to place it in a larger context.  I mentioned Mordecai Kaplan and found out one of the women is distantly related to him.  We studied Talmud and commentaries.  They loved the session.  I did not emerge feeling safer or reassured.

This morning, I was down at the school for the Shavuot tekes for Kitah Aleph.  I could not help being moved despite my grave concerns about our country and where we are going.  But the music was about "the land you gave us" - quoting from Torah.  It's not the verse I think we need to hear most right now.

Alen has taken to watching Rachel Maddow on TV.  I feel no desire to connect with US politics.  I feel mostly scared and insecure.  Like I'm trembling at the foot of a trembling mountain.

What is the Torah we will receive this year? What is the Torah we will teach?