Music Rant

This rant was inspired by my sister in law, Eliza, who published on her facebook status last week, "what is your favorite music to clean by?" This evoked rage in me, because I did not have a snowball's chance in hell of being able to clean by music, since I could not get an hour to myself in the house when the kids weren't there - either controlling the public space - tv or music - or sleeping and when whatever choice I made of music would either wake them up or annoy them or Alen.

So now....finally....I have a couple of hours to myself in the house to clean or do whatever I want and can't find anything I want to listen to. Here's the problem - I have no energy or time to find new music, and I don't like anything we have here. All those cds of music I used to love - Jackson Browne, Elton John, Dire Straits. I put them on and I don't like the way they make me feel. I don't want to be the person I was when I liked this music. None of the old songs are doing it.

So I look for my Garth Brooks double live cd. Some of you may remember Sasha broke one of the discs in half last year (or was it the year before?). But I'm supposed to have one disc still. I clean up all the cds and put them back in their cases. 30 minutes go by. The cds look better and will stay organized for 45 minutes after the kids get home. No Garth Brooks. Nothing I want to listen to.

Now I am sure if you know me or you've read this far, you will understand that I am seriously old. That's right - no Ipod, no Itunes, no ear plugs. No downloaded music, not even a cd burner as far as I know. I have not made the leap. I don't know how and don't have time to figure it out.

So this is a plea - if you have some old cds that you are not using, something good, Cris Williamson, Meg Christian, Heather Bishop, Margie Adam, Garth Brooks, David Allen Coe (google him if you want to see real music :-)), please pack them up and send them to me - I'll send you my address. And please, send me some good music karma if you have any and concrete baby steps I could take to return to the world of music.

P.S. Last March, I bought a radio CD for my car. The CD never worked. I went back once, they said they fixed it, it wasn't fixed and I couldn't find time since then to go again. I have 3 more months to get there. I mostly listen to talk radio. How did I become this person?

What Would You Do, Dear?

Anyone remember those books by Maurice Sendak - What would you do, dear? and What would you say dear? They were great!

Ok, here are two challenging scenarios from today. For those who read my earlier post on coming out again, this first scenario can be titled Not Coming Out Again!

Visiting a very ill colleague in hospital - actually I was outside with her family. Her brother in law (looks somewhere between orthodox and ultra-orthodox) says, "Do you have a husband, a family?" I demur, some kind of nod, he asks how many kids I have, their ages, we move on. Here's the kind of situation I don't come out in. The nursing home where I volunteer sometimes is about the only place where I don't speak up. Back when I lived in the states, I had these kind of encounters nearly on a daily basis. Mainly due to Alen's job working with youth, we kept what I would call a very low profile while not being in the closet exactly. Today these situations are so few and far between that they grate. I almost always tell people, I have a partner, which in Hebrew comes out female. I've even had people correct me, you mean "ben zug" and I say no, I mean "bat zug".

Challenging scenario number two was harder. We went to the library and Gabi picked out a book from the "time tunnel" series - they had read one in her class. Then at dinner she tells me she's gotten to a chapter where they get uniforms, and that they are in Poland, in some place that hates kids and all the kids are in some kind of institution. My ears perk up and I run to her room to find the book - one of the chapters is entitled "carts full of clothes arrive in the ghetto". I immediately call the mother of one of her friends who doesn't answer and then my brother for advice.

After several calls the consensus seems to be not to take the book away from her because that will make it mysterious. Her friend's mother suggest she update me on the story as it goes along and Gabi suggests she read the book to me. (O joy.)

The friend's mother also says she would probably not have agreed to the book, but I didn't look closely and might not have realized at first glance that it is about the Holocaust. I would probably be a bit less traumatized if I wasn't currently reading a book about the Shoah myself (A Death in Vienna by Daniel DaSilva). I tell Gabi the book is probably too old for her, might scare her, talks about a difficult time, and she says she wants to continue reading it. My brother tells me they learn about the Shoah very early here - this mom is not ready.

What would you do dear?

Banana Muffins - Yummy!!!

I will never be disloyal to Joan Burstyn's banana bread, but what do you do when you have 2 bananas instead of 3, and half an hour instead of an hour?

Here's the solution, adapted from Moosewood Restaurant Lowfat Favorites - thanks Nancy for this great cookbook!!!!

I cup flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 cup oats
2 eggs
2 tbls oil
2 mashed bananas
1/2 cup yogurt

preheat oven to 400 F(200 C) and grease your muffin cups
sift dry stuff except oats. add oats. mix up the wet stuff well. add wet to dry and mix till just mixed. put in muffin cups. bake 20-25 mins (took a little longer here). leave in tin a few minutes if the kids can wait. loosen each muffin with a knife around the edges before tipping out. one batch is almost gone the next morning - try a double batch if friends are over!!!

Coming Out Again

I think I want to rename this blog and call it, "It's complicated."

Alen was home sick and heard some young teen girls gathered outside our house talking and saying, "That's the yard of the lesbians." She was pretty sure one of them lived in our building.

I had a pretty good idea of who it was and while Alen was dubious about it, I decided to go talk to our new neighbors. I thought about what I would say for some time. On the one hand, what other people think of us is none of our business. On the other hand, my kids also live in this building.

So I asked to talk to the mom privately, and I told her what happened, and that I thought it might have been her daughter, but that I was not sure, and her first response was "my kids have no idea about you. We haven't said anything. It's a completely private matter." These kids are about 13 and 15. I'm not sure what planet this lovely woman is living on.

I said, "Well, we don't keep it a secret that we are two women raising two kids."

She said, "No of course not, it's nothing you need to hide."

And there we have the dilemma in Israel - it's nothing to hide but it's a completely private matter.

So I said, "well, it's totally your call, but maybe you want to talk to your daughter. She might have questions about it."

Then she told me about her teenage son who has become orthodox under the influence of Shas type activists who were in another part of our town influencing teenage boys but have supposedly left, and how against it she and her husband have been and how she would never mention something like this to him (her son) because of the attitudes of that segment of the religious population.

So I said again, "it's totally your call, but maybe you want to talk to your daughter."

And she told me she was glad I said something to her, and she thinks we're great and our kids are great.

And I'm left wondering, if she talks to her daughter, what on earth will she say? That it's a totally private matter not to talk about but nothing to be ashamed of?

Stay tuned for why I'm ambivalent about joining a speakers bureau for GLBT issues. It's not what you think.

Ushpezin Challenges

So we were in the Sukkah last night (the kids and I slept there). We have pre-printed walls made of fabric and on them are the names of 7 Ushpezin (guests) - the traditional men. So Gabi is asking me what the symbols are - why does Aaron have a breastplate as a symbol, etc. And then she sees Yitzchak (Isaac) has a fire and wants to know why. So I kind of gulp and then explain about the binding of Isaac and how G-d told Abraham to kill his son and then told him not to, all the while thinking, "should I be telling my kids about this?" And Gabi thinks it's pretty weird, especially that G-d changed his mind, and then Sasha says in Hebrew: "G-d told him to kill his son and then told him not to? G-d is confused." And then they start singing about Yuval Hamebulbal.

Has anyone else told your kids about this? It made me pretty uncomfortable.

Shanah Tovah!!!!

To all our family, friends and loved ones, and to my readers near and far -

I hope that this blog has in some way touched your hearts this year. At this season, I feel the many blessings of so much love all around and the ways that we can connect and inspire each other. I hope that the coming year brings you all that you dream of, with many opportunities for service and for giving back. Thank you for connecting with me in some way - great or small. May you go from strength to strength.

Much love to everyone,

Gail

Driving questions again

Mom, don't read this post.

So now the question is which way to drive. There have been shootings on West Bank roads the past three nights. So it seems that if I drive to or from Jerusalem at night, I'd best be taking the other route, a scary windy road through a deserted forest. Gee, that sounds great. But what about the days? Alen drives the forest route all the time. I'm not so used to it, but took it yesterday. It got me to work about 10 minutes later, through an area I'm completely unfamiliar with. I don't like the sense that my part of Jerusalem (Baka, Talpiot, Gilo) will be cut off from me if I drive the other way. But on the other hand...

I can't change whether people are shooting on the roads, I can't change what's going on in Washington (the proximate cause of the shootings) but I can change my driving route. So I may be saying goodbye to checkpoints for awhile. Husan, Wadi Fukin, Beit Lehem and the separation wall will be hidden from my sight, as they are from so many Israelis.

What about my friends in Tekoa, Efrat and Kiryat Arba? They can't choose the safe road.

It's complicated.