These are soooo good! (Inspired by Larabars, made by Gabi)
Makes about 10 bars
Ingredients:
1/2 cup almonds
1/2 cup cashews
1 cup pitted dates
4 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 tsp peppermint extract
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Blend first 5 ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Add more cocoa powder if it doesn't taste chocolaty enough.
Mix in chocolate chips.
Shape into bars and freeze.
Monday, May 18, 2020
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Turkey Cauliflower Burgers
These are the only burgers I'm making these days. It's a variation of a Yotam Ottolenghi recipe that uses zucchini, but I find the cauliflower is better.
Half a large cauliflower or one small one
500 g or one pound of ground turkey
chopped parsley, mint, and/or cilantro - up to 2 tablespoons of each
2 finely sliced scallions
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1-2 cloves of chopped or grated garlic
2 beaten eggs
Grind up the cauliflower in a food processor. Mix in all the other ingredients.
Line a tray with greaseproof paper. Fry small burgers in olive oil on each side. Put them on the tray. When you are done frying them all, bake at 400F/200C for 15 minutes. This makes about one large tray of small burgers, which is good for about 2 meals.
Half a large cauliflower or one small one
500 g or one pound of ground turkey
chopped parsley, mint, and/or cilantro - up to 2 tablespoons of each
2 finely sliced scallions
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1-2 cloves of chopped or grated garlic
2 beaten eggs
Grind up the cauliflower in a food processor. Mix in all the other ingredients.
Line a tray with greaseproof paper. Fry small burgers in olive oil on each side. Put them on the tray. When you are done frying them all, bake at 400F/200C for 15 minutes. This makes about one large tray of small burgers, which is good for about 2 meals.
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Stuffed peppers
Here are some stuffed peppers - I kind of made up this recipe based on various other recipes and it turned out really well!
6 small peppers
3/4 cup rice
1/4 cup dried cranberries
1/8 cup chopped almonds
one onion
1/3 large jar of pasta sauce (about 3/4 cup, I used tomato-basil sauce)
Juice of half a lemon
Chop the onion and fry it in olive oil until soft. Add the rice, cranberries and almonds and stir and fry for 2-3 minutes.
Cut the stems off the peppers using a knife to cut around that part. Rinse out the seeds and pull out any white parts you can reach.
Fill each pepper 2/3 full of the rice mixture. Stand the peppers up in a medium saucepan.
Mix the pasta sauce with water and lemon juice. Pour into the saucepan. Add more water as necessary until the sauce is about 3/4 of the way up to the top of the peppers. Cover and bring to a boil. Turn down the heat and cook for 15 minutes. Open the pot and pour a little more water into each pepper. Cook covered for another 35-45 more minutes, until the rice inside each pepper is done.
6 small peppers
3/4 cup rice
1/4 cup dried cranberries
1/8 cup chopped almonds
one onion
1/3 large jar of pasta sauce (about 3/4 cup, I used tomato-basil sauce)
Juice of half a lemon
Chop the onion and fry it in olive oil until soft. Add the rice, cranberries and almonds and stir and fry for 2-3 minutes.
Cut the stems off the peppers using a knife to cut around that part. Rinse out the seeds and pull out any white parts you can reach.
Fill each pepper 2/3 full of the rice mixture. Stand the peppers up in a medium saucepan.
Mix the pasta sauce with water and lemon juice. Pour into the saucepan. Add more water as necessary until the sauce is about 3/4 of the way up to the top of the peppers. Cover and bring to a boil. Turn down the heat and cook for 15 minutes. Open the pot and pour a little more water into each pepper. Cook covered for another 35-45 more minutes, until the rice inside each pepper is done.
Monday, April 13, 2020
Strawberry Mousse
This is kosher for passover if you happened to buy KFP gelatin this year!
Translated from Ruth Sirkis, המטבח בקלי קלות
2 containers strawberries (500 grams)
14 grams unflavored gelatin (one packet or tablespoon)
Half cup boiling water
Half cup sugar
1 container smooth white cheese. For those of you outside Israel, you can substitute yogurt or sour cream and the amount is about 100 grams/4 ounces. (I have made this parve but I don't remember what I used here. You could substitute non-dairy yogurt.)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon fruit liqueur (optional)
1 container whipping cream (250 ml) or Rich's whip
1. Clean the fruit and remove stems. Put aside 10 strawberries for decoration and cut them lengthwise.
Put the gelatin in a small bowl and pour the boiling water over it. Mix until the gelatin is completely dissolved, and it is liquid, clear and with no lumps. Let it cool a little.
2. Divide the rest of the strawberries in half. Cut half into quarters. The other half put into a food processor. Add the sugar and process into a smooth paste. Add the white cheese and process another minute. Pour in the gelatin, while running the machine, in order to distribute it evenly. Add the vanilla and the liqueur. Put into a bowl.
3. Whip the cream or Rich's separately into stiff peaks and mix with the strawberry/white cheese paste. Add the quartered strawberries to the mixture. Line an English cake pan (a loaf pan) with plastic wrap, put the half strawberries around the edges, with the cut side out. Pour the cream into the middle. Cover with plastic. Refrigerate for 8 hours. Before serving, turn out onto a long tray and remove the plastic.
Translated from Ruth Sirkis, המטבח בקלי קלות
2 containers strawberries (500 grams)
14 grams unflavored gelatin (one packet or tablespoon)
Half cup boiling water
Half cup sugar
1 container smooth white cheese. For those of you outside Israel, you can substitute yogurt or sour cream and the amount is about 100 grams/4 ounces. (I have made this parve but I don't remember what I used here. You could substitute non-dairy yogurt.)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon fruit liqueur (optional)
1 container whipping cream (250 ml) or Rich's whip
1. Clean the fruit and remove stems. Put aside 10 strawberries for decoration and cut them lengthwise.
Put the gelatin in a small bowl and pour the boiling water over it. Mix until the gelatin is completely dissolved, and it is liquid, clear and with no lumps. Let it cool a little.
2. Divide the rest of the strawberries in half. Cut half into quarters. The other half put into a food processor. Add the sugar and process into a smooth paste. Add the white cheese and process another minute. Pour in the gelatin, while running the machine, in order to distribute it evenly. Add the vanilla and the liqueur. Put into a bowl.
3. Whip the cream or Rich's separately into stiff peaks and mix with the strawberry/white cheese paste. Add the quartered strawberries to the mixture. Line an English cake pan (a loaf pan) with plastic wrap, put the half strawberries around the edges, with the cut side out. Pour the cream into the middle. Cover with plastic. Refrigerate for 8 hours. Before serving, turn out onto a long tray and remove the plastic.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Twelve Tips for Getting Elderly Parents (or others) to Move Closer to Family
Here are my 12 tips, 9 months after our successful decade plus campaign to get my parents to move:
1. Play a long game and keep your eyes on the prize: If you really, truly believe your elderly parent or relative would be happier and healthier living closer to family, be prepared to sing that tune for a long time until it happens (or doesn't).
2. Get siblings or other allies on the same page: Siblings who work together and have good working relationships are the most valuable gift that will keep on giving throughout all the processes. Invest time and energy to build or rebuild good working relationships. Get outside help if necessary - we had the help of a clinical social worker - so valuable!
3. Think ahead and discuss: I brought up the idea of a senior move manager more than 2 years before my family hired one. Over 10 years before my parents moved, I was measuring how many feet of books they had in their home. I brought up the topic every time I saw them over a decade. There were many, many long arguments and discussions.
4. Know when to drop the conversation: Since you know you'll be coming back to it, know when to stop talking and let elders process and think for themselves.
5. If possible, set a target: Ok, you don't want to move now, but when do you think it will be time to move? My parents actually wound up moving during the exact season my mother had planned several years before.
6. Enlist the help of other relatives: People listen to their peers. Relatives closer to my parents' age were instrumental in convincing my mother that a move had to happen.
7. Ignore to a certain extent the static: Elders need to be allowed to vent their distress about what is objectively distressing. Things will be said and anger will be directed at you. Let it roll off your back.
8. Take on as much of the practical work as possible: It gets harder and harder to make that phone call or look up a resource, as well as to sort paperwork etc. Do as much as you can to help and hire others to take on the burden as well.
9. Give limited decisions: Mom you can choose between these three tiles for your new kitchen. As you would for a toddler.
10. Visit possible living options: Provide concrete, positive information about what is happening there. Help them envision themselves in their new home. "When you get here, Joe and Sally want to invite you to their holiday party, their poetry group, their art show".
11. Express your concerns and desires: "I want to be able to help you get to your appointments", "I am concerned I can't get here in time if there's an emergency."
12. Don't be afraid to lean into stereotyped roles: I am the "problem child." My strenuous efforts to get my parents to move were perceived as "causing problems". My sister is perceived as responsible. My brother is a good listener. We used all of these to our advantage.
Do all you can, with love and prayer, and when you've done that let go and pray that the best possible outcome unfold. Good luck and may your loved ones have years of good health and loving family.
1. Play a long game and keep your eyes on the prize: If you really, truly believe your elderly parent or relative would be happier and healthier living closer to family, be prepared to sing that tune for a long time until it happens (or doesn't).
2. Get siblings or other allies on the same page: Siblings who work together and have good working relationships are the most valuable gift that will keep on giving throughout all the processes. Invest time and energy to build or rebuild good working relationships. Get outside help if necessary - we had the help of a clinical social worker - so valuable!
3. Think ahead and discuss: I brought up the idea of a senior move manager more than 2 years before my family hired one. Over 10 years before my parents moved, I was measuring how many feet of books they had in their home. I brought up the topic every time I saw them over a decade. There were many, many long arguments and discussions.
4. Know when to drop the conversation: Since you know you'll be coming back to it, know when to stop talking and let elders process and think for themselves.
5. If possible, set a target: Ok, you don't want to move now, but when do you think it will be time to move? My parents actually wound up moving during the exact season my mother had planned several years before.
6. Enlist the help of other relatives: People listen to their peers. Relatives closer to my parents' age were instrumental in convincing my mother that a move had to happen.
7. Ignore to a certain extent the static: Elders need to be allowed to vent their distress about what is objectively distressing. Things will be said and anger will be directed at you. Let it roll off your back.
8. Take on as much of the practical work as possible: It gets harder and harder to make that phone call or look up a resource, as well as to sort paperwork etc. Do as much as you can to help and hire others to take on the burden as well.
9. Give limited decisions: Mom you can choose between these three tiles for your new kitchen. As you would for a toddler.
10. Visit possible living options: Provide concrete, positive information about what is happening there. Help them envision themselves in their new home. "When you get here, Joe and Sally want to invite you to their holiday party, their poetry group, their art show".
11. Express your concerns and desires: "I want to be able to help you get to your appointments", "I am concerned I can't get here in time if there's an emergency."
12. Don't be afraid to lean into stereotyped roles: I am the "problem child." My strenuous efforts to get my parents to move were perceived as "causing problems". My sister is perceived as responsible. My brother is a good listener. We used all of these to our advantage.
Do all you can, with love and prayer, and when you've done that let go and pray that the best possible outcome unfold. Good luck and may your loved ones have years of good health and loving family.
Thursday, November 22, 2018
Go!
Just a few weeks ago, my wife hurriedly got on a plane to meet her uncle who flew from a different continent and to drive with him to see her other uncle, his brother, in hospital. They stayed about 5 days, and her sick uncle passed away about a week after their return.
Last Thanksgiving, my sister and I made travel arrangements for our mother and I met my mother in London to visit her brother in hospital. We had 5 days and 6 nights going from hotel to hospital. He died about 6 weeks after our visit.
Another similar family visit between elderly siblings took place in our extended family this fall, with the help of children who escorted their mother to see her brother. Not long after sister and brother passed away on the same day.
Aging siblings often live miles if not continents apart. I remember a man in my congregation who wanted to visit his sister, just a three hour drive away. He never made it - he was not well and the arrangements were too complicated.
Older people often need the help of the Sandwich Generation to make a visit to a sibling happen. If you have the chance to accompany an older relative to visit a sibling, do it. Here are some tips:
In memory of Ronald Jacobs and Richard Greenwood, may their memory be a blessing.
Last Thanksgiving, my sister and I made travel arrangements for our mother and I met my mother in London to visit her brother in hospital. We had 5 days and 6 nights going from hotel to hospital. He died about 6 weeks after our visit.
Another similar family visit between elderly siblings took place in our extended family this fall, with the help of children who escorted their mother to see her brother. Not long after sister and brother passed away on the same day.
Aging siblings often live miles if not continents apart. I remember a man in my congregation who wanted to visit his sister, just a three hour drive away. He never made it - he was not well and the arrangements were too complicated.
Older people often need the help of the Sandwich Generation to make a visit to a sibling happen. If you have the chance to accompany an older relative to visit a sibling, do it. Here are some tips:
- Keep in mind you will need to let go of work and put out money (although I worked every day in the hospital lounge area).
- Make your focus caring for your older relative, so that the relatives of their sibling don't have to worry about either of you.
- Logistics are best handled by the sandwich generation member so that your older relative does not have to stress (and you have better tech skills for this)
- Leave your own children home.
- Spend the extra money on the taxi, hotel, restaurant, to ensure that you can have something to give to the caregivers and that you are not taking from them.
- Check in to be sure your visit can be arranged in a way that everyone benefits. Make nearby hotel arrangements.
- Take lots of photos - you will treasure them
- Use the time to reminisce, look at old photos, sing favorite songs, tell jokes
- Offer to relieve family members at the hospital/nursing home so that they can take care of business or rest
- Offer to take them out to a meal, bring in sandwiches, etc.
- Put on your own oxygen mask while you are there by taking walks, reaching out to your own family
- Visit a church, synagogue or place of special memory
- Cherish every moment
In memory of Ronald Jacobs and Richard Greenwood, may their memory be a blessing.
Friday, October 26, 2018
פרשת וירא - הורות ופחד
הבוקר קראנו בתורה ובהפטרה על שלושה
ילדים בסכנת חיים – ישמעאל, יצחק, ובנה של האישה
השונמית. כל אחד מן הסיפורים מאיר את השאלה, "כיצד אפשר לשמור על ילדינו?"
זאת שאלה שחשבתי עליה די הרבה, במיוחד לאחר
שהאחיין שלנו, בן 4.5, נהרג בתאונת דרכים לפני
7 שנים. הפחד המלווה את ההורות – דבר שקיים מאז ומעולם ומדברים עליו מעט, ממלא את הסיפורים
שקראנו היום.
לסבתא וסבא רבה שלי נולדו 12 ילדים, 10
שרדו, ואני חושבת שהחוויה שלהם, לפני עידן החיסונים והאנטיביוטיקה שיש לנו
היום ואני מקווה שכולנו נעזרים בהם, זאת החוויה של הורים שבהקשרה אנחנו צריכים לחשוב
על הסיפורים האלה.
אדבר הבוקר על השוני וההקבלה בין הסיפורים
של הורים וילדים.
אברהם הוא היהודי הנודד הראשון – הוא שמע
בפרשה הקודמת את הציווי "לך לך" כשהוא כבר היה באמצע
מסע, הגיע לארץ כנען, ולמרות שבפרשה שלנו הוא נטע אשל בבאר שבע, בפרשה הבאה הוא קונה
שדה בחברון, ואילו בפרשה הקודמת הוא הקים מזבח ליד שכם וגם ירד למצריים. אין לו מקום
קבוע.
הגר היא הגר – מישהי שבא מבחוץ ואף פעם
היא לא נפטרת מן הזהות השונה (אולי עדיף להשתמש במילה "זרה" במקום
"שונה"? לשיקולך). אני מזדהה אתה. היא לא מכאן, ומקומה – הגיאוגרפי
והחברתי - לא בטוח.
לעומתם, לאשה השונמית אין שם. היא מזוהה
לחלוטין עם מקומה.
אברהם מרגיש את החסר ודואג מעל הכל לזרע,
לצאצאים. בשיחה עם ה’; הוא מביע את דאגתו – "הן לי לא נתתה זרע והנה בן
ביתי יורש אתי"! ה’ מבטיח לאברהם "כי אם אשר יצא ממעיך הוא יירשך".
אחרי שאברהם מצווה לגרש את הגר וישמעאל מבטיח לו ה' "כי ביצחק יקרא לך זרע."
בסיפור התורה, לא ניתנת להגר בררה. היא נעשית לאמא ככלי לרצון של
אברהם. בעידן שלנו של "#גמ אני", הסיפור של חוסר הסכמה מעורר דאגה חז"ל
הרגישו את זה כשחברו את המדרש – שם הגר היא לא שפחה אלא נסיכה אצילה שמזהה את
הרוחניות באברהם ובוחרת להיות חלק ממשפחתו.
האשה השונמית אינה מבקשת ילד. יש בה מן
הצניעות – או אולי אפילו מן היאוש, והיא אינה מבקשת דבר. כשאלישע לראשונה מציע
לה עזרה, התשובה שלה היא: "בתוך עמי אנכי יושבת." אני רואה את המילים שלה
כאתגר עבורנו – כקהילה – שכל אחד בקהילה שאין לו או לה ילדים או שחווה חוסר או חסך
מכל סוג שהוא, ירגיש שהוא או היא מקבלת את הצרכים מתוך הקהילה ויושבת – "בתוך
עמי".
בהגמל יצחק, אברהם עורך משתה גדול. המשתה
הזה לא בלי סיבה – הוא אות לכך שהילד עבר את גיל הינקות, חדל להיות פגיע כל כך. בעולם
שלפני הרפואה המתקדמת, חייו של ילד לא היו מובטחים, וגמילה היא גם סימן שהילד באמת
יוצא לעולם ולחיים. למרות זאת, יש עדיין סכנות: לישמעאל – סכנת מוות מצמא, לבנה של
השונמית כנראה מכת שמש, ליצחק, העקדה.
יצחק – הילד הרצוי כל כך, מגיע למצב בלתי
שיגרתי ושואל ומנסה לפענח אותו: "הנה האש והעצים
ואיה השה לעולה?" בנה של השונמית, במצב יותר שגרתי וגם חולה, מדבר כמו ילד ואומר
רק "ראשי, ראשי". ישמעאל, הילד ששמו מעיד על הקשבת ה', בעצם לא אומר
מילה.
שלושת הבנים – יצחק, בנה של השונמית וישמעאל
שה’ "שמע את קל הנער באשר הוא שם" – עוברים
סוג של תחיית המתים. באר מים מחייה את ישמעאל ומצילה אותו. ליצחק יש התערבות של מלאך
- ונמצא ממלא מקום – האייל נאחז בסבך בקרניו. בנה של השונמית חווה תחייה ממשית – הוא
היה במצב של "אין קול ואין קשב" ואלישע שוכב עליו להחיות אותו.
לסיפורים של ישמעאל ויצחק יש המשך – כל
אחד הולך לדרכו ובפרשת תולדות אנחנו לומדים כיצד יצחק מעביר את הברכה ליעקב
וממשיך את השושלת. בנה של השונמית נעלם מדפי התנ"ך. אך חז"ל נותנים לו עתיד
במדרש – לילד בלי שם ובלי סיפור המשך הם קושרים עוד דמות שבאה בלי סיפור מוצא – הנביא
חבקוק. מהפסוק בהפטרה שלנו שאלישע אומר לאשה השונמית – "למועד הזה כעת חיה את
חובקת בן" – הם מוצאים שחבקוק הוא הילד שהיא חיבקה. למרות הקושי ההיסטורי בזיהוי
הזה, אני מאוד אוהבת את המדרש.
מה עושה אותו ילד כשגדל – נעשה לנביא –
ולא חשש להוכיח את ה’ על צידוק הדין - שאלה שגם עומדת מאחורי הסיפורים - הרי אנחנו יודעים שלא לכל סיפור של ילד בסכנה נכנס מלאך או נביא שיודע להחיות, או באר מים או אפילו חיסון חצבת. ספרו של חבקוק מתחיל
במילים – "עד אנה ה’ שיועתי ולא תשמע, אזעק אליך חמס ולא תושיע?" בסוף ספרו
הוא אומר מילות שבח: "ואני בה’ אלעוזה, אגילה באלהי ישעי". הילד שחווה תחיית
המתים בבשרו מכיר כל מצב רוחני שאפשר – מיאוש גמור לאמונה שלימה.
אני רוצה לסיים במלותיו של ח'ליל ג'ובראן
יַלְדֵיכֶם
אֵינָם יַלְדֵיכֶם
כִּי
פְּרִי גַעֲגוּעֵי הַחַיִּים אֶל עַצְמָם.
בָּאִים
הֵמָּה דַּרְכְּכֶם, אַךְ לֹא מִכֶּם.
חַיִּים
עִמָכֶם, אַךְ אֵינָם שַׂיָּכִים לָכֶם.
תְּנוּ
לְיַלְדֵיכֶם אֶת אַהֲבַתְכֶם, אַךְ לֹא אֶת מַחְשְבוֹתֵיכֶם.
כִּי
לֹא לָכֶם הֲגִיגֵיהֶם.
גוּפָם
יִשְׂכּוֹן בְּבָתֵיכֶם, אַךְ לֹא נִשְׂמָתָם.
כִּי
נִשְׂמָתָם מִסְתוֹפֶפֶת בְּבֵית הַמָּחָר,
שָׂם
לֹא תוּכְלוּ לָבוֹא אַף בַּחֲלוֹמוֹתֵיכֶם.
אֶפְשָׂר
לָכֶם לַחְפּוֹץ לִהְיוֹת כְּמוֹהֶם, אַךְ אַל לָכֶם לַעֲשוֹתָם כְּמוֹכֶם.
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